The strangest aspects of the human experience

The Bielefeld Conspiracy

07/28/2023

This beautiful nightscape is the city of Bielefeld. Bielefeld is a city in north-western Germany, with a population of about 323,000. It's in the state of North-Rhine-Westphalia, and is the 18th largest city in Germany, with a large university and hospital, a historic castle, and a fairly typically Germanic-looking church. Or at least that's what they want you to think. The evil, conniving, manipulating, Machiavellian elites of the Illuminati.

Because the truth – the shocking truth, is that Bielefeld doesn't exist.

The Conspiracy

Yes, it's conspiracy time

On May 16 1994 a Achim Held, a computer science student at the University of Kiel made a post on the de.talk.bizarre newsgroup. Now I found this post, of course it was written in German, but google translate gives us a pretty good translation, but if anything reads weird or doesn't make complete sense the translation is likely why

Episode: File 0105: Non-Existent Glam Forests and Rocket Science

Release Date: July 28 2023

Researched and presented by Cayla

I can no longer keep it to myself today, I must finally risk my life to go public, mankind must be enlightened about THE BIELEFELD CONSPIRACY!

It all started quite harmlessly when we, a small group of intrepid people, noticed that although there was talk of a city called Bielefeld from time to time, none of us knew anyone who had been there, let alone been to Bielefeld. That gave us the idea that Bielefeld doesn't even exist.

From there our senses were naturally heightened and we gradually discovered the extent of the conspiracy: cars with fake 'BI' plates, a mysterious football team pretending to be from Bielefeld, in short: THEY spared no expense or effort to make us believe that Bielefeld really exists.

Then something threatening happened: At first not suspecting anything bad, some of us [spoke] about our discoveries. A little later they informed us - in retrospect I have to say that we should have noticed their blank stare back then - that they had met someone from Bielefeld or had even been there themselves --- THEY had subjected the poor devils to brainwashing.

Of course we thought about who was behind it: Is the conspiracy connected to NASA's fake moon landing? Does John F. Kennedy even have a hand in his CIA-protected exile ?

Or are extraterrestrials under the leadership of the Venusian Omnec Onec trying to make us believe in the existence of Bielefeld? Does this have anything to do with the bad Star Trek dubbing? Does the whole thing serve to hide a base of the Reichsflugscheibe power?

Luckily, I spotted an ad in 2000, the magazine for new consciousness, for Programmed Water, which also helps prophylactically against alien implants up to level three.

Of course I ordered several bottles at the price of 87 Swiss francs per liter and drank them all in one gulp - so YOU ​​won't get me that easily!

Then, a little while ago, the bright spot: As we drove past the autobahn where this Bielefeld is supposed to be, a sign pointing to an autobahn junction had the name 'Bielefeld' (yes, they even put up signs) crossed out with bright orange tape. That was a sign for us: there are other groups working underground whose goal is to uncover the Bielefeld Deception.

So encouraged, I must now simply go public and let everyone know about the outrageous charade that is taking place in our country. Why isn't the government doing anything about this deception? Or is it even part of the Bielefeld conspiracy?

Of course I won't have access to Usenet for long after I've written this. You should not save this article in your home directory, that's where THEY will look first when THEY come to you. My only hope is that I've opened enough people's eyes that THEY realize that their maneuver has failed and admit that Bielefeld doesn't exist. 

Some time later Achim would return to get in greater depth

Warning: This site contains material which [THEY] do not want known to the public. Don't save this page to your local disk, otherwise it will be your turn when [THEY] suddenly show up at your door; and that happens faster than you think. You should also try to destroy all evidence that you have ever read this page. Do not add this page to your hotlist/bookmarks/etc...!!!

Thank you for observing all safety regulations.

The post goes on to describe the extents in which THEY have gone to make sure the world believes that Bielefeld is a real place. How the media makes fake articles from the place that portray it as a normal city, or how they have a domain and people have been given email addresses with that domain

The article posits four theories as to who is behind the theory

  1. It could be a group behind the star brother and world teacher Ashtar Sheran [a species of alien which George Van Tassel says has been in contact with us since 1952] , who are preparing their landing at the place where Bielefeld is supposed to be, which - according to the relevant specialist literature - is imminent. This group is said to include Elvis and Kurt Cobain, both of whom are still alive - covered by the Swedish secret service.
  2. Since the alleged assassination attempt, the CIA has been keeping John F. Kennedy hidden at the spot where Bielefeld is said to be, so that he cannot tell anything about NASA's fake moon landing. To what extent the Reichsflugscheibe [a spacecraft allegedly made by the nazis] power is playing along from its moon or Mars base, we cannot say, since all evidence was destroyed when the heavily armed Observer Mars probe was launched. The Vatican may have information about this, which has regularly flown to Mars in tachyon-powered ships since the 1950s.
  3. The MOSSAD [Israeli intelligence agency] in cooperation with the OMEGA [agency] [the secret group that Is truly running things world wide] are planning to set up a secret research laboratory at this point, because exactly at this point two undocumented ley lines cross. The millennia-old tunnel to America and Australia (via Atlantis) could also have its entrance there. Important accomplices, namely Uwe Barschel and Olof Palme, were eliminated early on by the secret services working together with MOSSAD, including the Stasi and the less well-known 'Foundation'.
  4. On the site lies the lair of one of the dormant Fourth Age dragons [this seems to be a reference to the Wheel of Time series] awaiting the awakening of magic on December 24, 2011 (see the Mayan calendar). This place is protected by the Knights of the Cross of Orders AAORRAC [which seems to be an Austrian knights templar but of alchemy] , who are now engaged in the production of programmed water - according to a recipe that they received from Ann Johnson under brutal torture. As is well known, it had received this from high light beings from space in order to protect humanity from extraterrestrial implants up to level 3.

The post then includes a section about what the reader can do

On the one hand, we can all write to the Bundestag, the European Parliament and the UN to finally ensure that THEY are no longer covered by the politicians. However, since it is to be feared that [THEY] have politics - as well as organized crime and the major world religions - under control, the chances of success of this path are rather doubtful.

Another possibility is that all Bielefeld doubters meet and create so much positive radiation together through transcendental meditation (TM) that the dizziness blows up. A similar approach has reduced crime in Washington, DC by over 20%. This is particularly effective in combination with Hopi candles in the ear and yogic levitation.

Now and then, in one of the newspapers actually controlled by THEM, an editor will muster up all the courage and risk at least hinting at the conspiracy in one of the issues. For example, the FAZ called Bielefeld "the mother of all un-cities," and the taz titled an article "The Bermuda Triangle near Bielefeld." Of course, when asked, you get to hear that you meant everything completely differently, the taz even said it should really have been "Bitterfeld", but for a brief moment the readers were made aware that something was wrong with Bielefeld. We should all follow the courage of these editors, about whose further fate we unfortunately know nothing.

But what we can all do for ourselves on a small scale is this: take care of the unfortunate victims of brainwashing, nurture them, gently make them understand that they are being misinformed. And, always profess yourselves openly so that THEY will realize that we are no longer fooled:

Bielefeld does not exist!!!

Yeah, take that all in. Got some nice vintage conspiracies in there, and clearly the fourth age dragons never awoke in 2011, but doesn't mean JFK isn't there or that the aliens will be making their landing there

In 1995/96 Archim would go on to make a website dedicated to the theory that carried on the legend

Evolution

After this theory went live, it seemed like the world came out to challenge it. People seemed to come out of the woodwork to claim they had been to Bielefeld or even were from there and it seemed every other day Bielefeld would make the news.

And then there was the official Bielefeld homepage on the Internet. This web site sprang up showing idyllic vistas of the city's avenues and prominent buildings. But there was no solid evidence that these streets and buildings were images of Bielefeld. The students claim these could have been taken anywhere.

The conspiracy theory grew with the ascendancy of the previously forgotten soccer team, Arminia Bielefeld, which started to enjoy a moderate level of success in the top German league, putting the city's name in the sporting arena.

Featuring aging stars and actors who the students allege are being paid to perpetuate the myth of Bielefeld's existence and a group of supporters on the same payroll, Arminia Bielefeld is a perfect façade of normality for the more sinister goings-on in this shadowy area of Germany.

According to the students, those who have escaped the city are the lucky ones. Most people who find themselves in the area just off the A2 motorway are abducted and manipulated at the top secret, ultramodern manipulation institution known as the "Bielefeld Center." Those who have got out without being manipulated can give a detailed description of this facility.

Some have attached the illuminati to the conspiracy

Bielefeld is around 257.9 square kilometres, and the sum of those individual digits is 23. The area telephone code is 05711000 – add those digits and you get 23. The city's administration is at 23 Niederwall. The population is 323,000 – or at least, was in 2002 – which has the number 23 slap bang in the middle. The number 23 is supposedly a particularly unlucky number for the Illuminati

Real World Consequence

While most conspiracies fester and grow under the surface away from the general public, the Bielefeld conspiracy was a big one, claiming an entire city doesn't exist isn't exactly covert. In 1999, five years after the initial post, the press office of the metropolis even felt compelled to issue a three-page statement ending with the sentence in bold type and reinforced by three exclamation marks: "But Bielefeld does exist!!!" However, the date of this statement might give cause for thought: April 1, 1999. Bielefeld just an April Fool's joke? 

Gisela Bockermann, a spokesperson for Beilefeld was once quoted saying:

I hate it like the plague! It's annoying in day-to-day work, especially when people send you e-mails and think it's a new and great joke."

In November 2012, Angela Merkel talked at the presentation of the German Social Prize she also remembered an event in Bielefeld and added: "...if it exists".

"I had the impression I was there," she said, adding: "I hope I can go there again."

The Truth

The true story behind this conspiracy theory is pretty mundane. Achim Held was at a student get-together in 1993 when someone there said they were from Bielefeld, someone joked that no one was from Bielefeld, it didn't exist. This became an inside joke between Achim and his friends

The theory expanded on a trip the friends took together

We were on the way from Kiel to Essen on the A2. At that time there was a large construction site around Bielefeld, so that all exits in the direction of Bielefeld were really crossed out with orange colored tape. We joked: "We're really on the trail of a conspiracy - Bielefeld doesn't exist!"

The following year Achim would write up his post to further the joke, thinking nothing more of it

In a 2004 interview Achim said this

"We posted a lot of nonsense on Usenet back then," he says, "usually people laughed a little about the texts, but then they were quickly forgotten. I never thought that the Bielefeld conspiracy would develop into such a sure-fire success."

People joined in on the conspiracy theory, elaborating or adding details, everyone seemed to be having a good time with it and recognized it as satire, for the most part

"There were actually some who took the theory at face value. Sometime in the evening someone actually stood in front of my door who somehow got to my address. He told me about mean experiments that had been done on him and wanted to talk to me about the Bielefeld conspiracy. That was very disturbing".

"I never doubted that Bielefeld really existed," says the computer scientist. His intention at the time was to make fun of serious conspiracy theories

He was once asked one of the stories that inspired him and he said:

There was a story about someone who believed the government was watching him. Via the infrared sensor on the remote control of his television set.

In 2008 the computer scientist dared to visit the city, invited to attend the premiere of the movie "The Biefeld Conspiracy". He was afraid that an angry crowd would be waiting for him with torches and pitchforks, Held joked

But this did not happen. He was received very friendly, he remembers his stay in Bielefeld. The city has a lot of nice corners. The only thing missing in East Westphalia is the access to the sea that Held has in his hometown of Kiel.

2014 was Bielefeld's 800th birthday, and it seemed that Achim's theory had found a place in the celebrations, the event's motto being "800 years of Bielefeld - that doesn't even exist".

Sabine Moka from Marketing for the 800th anniversary was quoted saying "Mr. Held is always very welcome in Bielefeld,"

At the city's 800th birthday in 2014, Bielefeld mayor Pit Clausen celebrated the long-running gag.

"'Bielefeld doesn't exist' is a great opener for a conversation," he said, according to CityMetric. "It gives me the opportunity to talk about how beautiful, how wonderful our city is; about what's going on here and naturally beat the drum for our city so people can here, and if this opener didn't exist we'd have to come up with one ourselves."

In 2019 the city of Bielefeld offered one million euros to anyone that could prove the city wasn't real. Other local manufactures got in on the reward as well a pudding manufacturer and a local condom company each offered a million of their products. Second division soccer team Arminia Bielefeld also offered a place in its squad

Over 2000 conspiracy theorist answered the call but none could prove that the city didn't exist. As a result, the Bielefeld Marketing team erected a memorial stone on the old town church square, a tombstone dedicated to the conspiracy. The tombstone says:

Bielefeld Conspiracy 1994-2019 and includes a QR code that links to the city's official website

Achim and the Mayor of Bielefeld, Pit Clausen, together unveiled the memorial and Achim updated his website to announce the death of the theory

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